The Mental Health Secret Hidden in Plain Sight That Most People Miss
Why giving others what you need most might be the breakthrough you’ve been searching for
Note: Those who might prefer Medium can enjoy this post there as well.
The other day I was scrolling through productivity advice online, and I came across the same recycled tips about self-care routines and morning rituals.
I rolled my eyes.
Because after years of struggling with my own mental health ups and downs, I’ve learned something that contradicts most of the advice we’re fed about taking care of ourselves.
The Truth No One Talks About
Ella Baker once said, “Give light, and people will find the way.”
And while that sounds nice on a motivational poster, it contains a psychological principle that most people completely miss.
We’re constantly told to focus inward for mental wellness:
“Practice self-care.” “Set boundaries.” “Put yourself first.”
And I get it. These things matter. But there’s something powerful that happens when you flip the script.
Environment Beats Willpower (Even for Mental Health)
Instead of asking “How can I feel better today?” try asking “How can I help someone else feel a little lighter today?”
Here’s why this works:
When you focus on giving light to others, you create an environment that naturally supports your own mental wellness. You stop the endless cycle of self-analysis and redirect that energy outward.
And this isn’t some woo-woo theory. It’s science:
When you help others, your brain releases dopamine and serotonin.
When you make someone smile, you literally rewire your neural pathways toward positivity.
When you give encouragement, you start believing your own words.
How to Actually Apply This
For any mental health challenge you’re facing, look at how you can give that exact thing to someone else:
Feeling isolated? Reach out to someone who might be lonely.
Lacking motivation? Encourage someone working toward their goals.
Need validation? Genuinely compliment a stranger.
Want more peace? Share a calming thought or resource.
The funny part? Once you start doing this, people will notice your positive energy and say:
“Wow, you always seem so centered…”
They won’t see the intentional environment design that makes it all possible. But you’ll feel the difference.
Instead of trying to fill your own cup through willpower alone, start by helping others fill theirs.
The light you give away has a way of finding its way back to you.
And that’s not just beautiful—it’s practical mental health strategy disguised as kindness.
What’s one small way you could give light to someone today?
Take care of yourselves,
Matt
Great post Matt. I will think about this more often. Thank you.
Absolutely! Sometimes the most healing thing we can do for ourselves is to show up for someone else. Not in a self-sacrificing way, but in a way that reminds us we still have light to offer. That we matter. That even in our own struggle, we can be a source of warmth and connection. Helping others isn’t just kind, it’s regulating, grounding, and deeply human. Thanks for this reminder and great post! 💙